My grandmother is still in hanging in there, but is expected to pass on sometime very soon. She isn't able to eat or drink and is on heavy painkillers. I imagine it is hard to let go of all your treasured objects and people you love when you are dying. She is a bit (understatement) of a hoarder in this lifetime and I can picture her having a hard time leaving it/us all behind.
The plan was made last night for the kids and me to fly up north to be there for the funeral (leaving tonight). We will be gone for 10 days. It is strange to feel so excited to see my whole extended family and yet feel so sad that neither of my grandparents will be there. I hope the funeral brings closure and peace to my heart, since I feel so resistant to her being gone.
It was hard to pick out clothes to wear to the funeral. I kept thinking: I am picking out a dress... shoes...a sweater for Grandma Lee's funeral. Why does death always feel surprising to us when it is so obvious and inevitable???
When I told Lili she turned her lips into a big frown and said "Oh No! Never I won't have any Grandma Lees again.... right?"
I let her pull off a few pieces of candy and told her she was done eating it. I found her later, hiding behind the couch, naughtily nibbling on a rock hard chunk of frosting. Those sweet-tooth genes Grandma Lee passed down are so strong!
So I suggested we give the house over to the chickens. I brought it out to them ceremoniously and with camera in hand~ thinking it was going to be quite the photo shoot to see 28 chickens eating a gingerbread house.
until we meet again,